The United States is Infested! Pest control to the rescue…
In an open letter to the people of the United States last month, several members of the Mexican government warned of a new type of pest taking up residence in the USA and very kindly made an offer of paying “one-time fee to any pest control service” should the American People decide they want it removed.
This new pest is what the Mexican government names “La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante” (The giant orange cockroach) and is easily identified by its apricot colour and abrasive nature. What is particularly distinctive about this pest however, is that it resides solely in the White House.
The letter has been signed by over fifty different government officials in Mexico and confirms that they have absolutely no intention of paying for President Trump’s planned border wall. What the letter does confirm though, is that the Mexican government, and the people of Mexico, are willing and happy to invest their taxpayers’ dollars to help the United States in what Mexico consider to be “her most desperate hour.”
The letter cordially starts:
“Dearest Neighbours of the North, we must take this time to inform you that your apricot-tinged president’s proposal for the people of Mexico to pay for his unnecessary and ineffective border wall has been and will continue to be rejected wholesale. Please understand, however, this does not mean the Mexican people are not willing to help our friend from the north in her most desperate hour.”
Taking a more serious tone, they continue:
“We have talked it over among ourselves and we believe it’s not just in our best interest and your best interest, but rather in the entire world’s best interest if this particular cucaracha is removed sooner than later. Cucarachas are already disease-carrying pests, but this one is particularly voracious in what it gobbles up.”
The letter, and the support it expresses from the Mexican government and people, can only be seen as a sign of hope to all surrounding the commitment to “safe and humane” pest control on a global scale.
Although contained in the White House at present, time will only tell as to how contagious the diseases are that this particular cockroach carries…
Whilst there is yet to be an outbreak of La Cucaracha Naranja Gigante in the House of Commons, our wasp(y) control challenges are still ongoing.